


you understand (like no one can) when I'm with you

by ericaismeg, foxerica (ericaismeg)



Series: rare ships [38]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alicia Boyd & Mason Hewitt Friendship, Alive Paige, Body kisses, F/F, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Girls Kissing, Jealous Alicia Boyd, Kissing Games, Kissing Lessons, Love Confessions, Mama's Bakery, Minor Tracy Stewart/Paige, Mutual Pining, Practice Dates, Practice Kissing, Rough Kissing, Secret Crush, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 21:36:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5943928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/ericaismeg, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/foxerica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alicia can’t forget the fact that Tracy, the most innocent person to grace the halls of Beacon Hills High, came to <i>Alicia,</i> the most open slut of Beacon Hills High for kissing lessons. Alicia had been offended at first, but Tracy had proceeded to promise her $250 for three sessions of kissing at various levels.</p>
<p>Tracy had pointed out that Alicia had been very open with her wild sex life, constantly bragging and teasing girls and boys, and Tracy knew she was a <i>great</i> kisser.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you understand (like no one can) when I'm with you

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here.](http://foxerica.tumblr.com/post/136985245042/tralicia-things-you-said-after-you-kissed-me)

Alicia’s lips part, and she inhales slowly. She’s trying to calm the sudden thudding in her chest, but when Tracy runs her tongue over her lips, Alicia knows it’s a lost cause. She doesn’t move her hand off Tracy’s just yet, and wonders if that’s breaking one of their thousand rules.

Tracy’s eyes flicker down to Alicia’s lips again, and she knows she’s completely screwed. “Do you think we could…uh, do that again?”

Alicia nods, wondering if her expression is betraying her right now. She hopes not. She can’t let Tracy know that she’s into this more than she wants to be. If Tracy thinks…no, Alicia won’t go there. She can’t risk it.

“Are you okay?” Tracy breathes, her lips hovering over Alicia’s. They’re breathing the same air now. Alicia flickers her eyes to meet Tracy’s, before she closes them. She has to be okay, because if she’s not, _this_  agreement between them ends. And she doesn’t want that. Tracy’s finger tips brush the back of Alicia’s neck. Softly, she says, “Just tell me if you want me to stop.”

“Don’t,” Alicia barely says. It’s so faint, she’s not entirely sure that Tracy hears her.

Her lips are there again. Right on Alicia’s. As if they belong there, as if they were made specifically for this purpose, as if they’ll never leave. Alicia melts. She’s the one who is supposed to be teaching Tracy how to kiss. After all, isn’t that why Tracy was paying her? But no one, _no one_  had kissed Alicia like this before. Soft, filled with whispered promises, and dreams that never seemed so close before.

Tracy is having fun, exploring Alicia’s mouth with her tongue. Alicia almost wants to tell her that it tickles, but then Tracy runs her tongue over Alicia’s lips. It’s weirdly erotic, and Alicia just wants to keep kissing her. She wonders if Tracy had lied. Maybe she’d learned to kiss with someone else before.

Their tongues crash together, and it’s awkward enough that they both pull away with flushed cheeks and a nervous laugh.

“Sorry, I’m probably really bad at this–” Tracy starts.

“Sorry, I got carried away–” Alicia says at the same time.

They both stare at one another for a minute, before Alicia gives Tracy a smile. She hopes she looks more confident than she feels. “You’re really good at this.”

“Yeah?” Tracy asks, eyebrows going up. “Wow, thanks. I really hope this works. I like Paige a lot and I just…you know, she’s had experience kissing _Derek Hale._ Pretty tough competition right there.”

“Practice makes perfect, right?” Alicia asks, her heart thudding in her chest again. Tracy gives her a shy, but pleased, smile before she leans in again. This time Alicia brushes her lips lightly against Tracy’s. God, she wants to tug at Tracy’s shirt, lift it up off her and throw it somewhere in the room to be forgotten until sunrise. But Tracy isn’t paying her for that.

No.

She’s paying her so she can be a good kisser when she goes out on her date next week with  _Paige._

Right.

Alicia can’t forget the fact that Tracy, the most innocent person to grace the halls of Beacon Hills High, came to _Alicia,_  the most open slut of Beacon Hills High for _kissing lessons._  Alicia had been offended at first, but Tracy had proceeded to promise her $250 for three sessions of kissing at various levels. 

Tracy had pointed out that Alicia had been very open with her wild sex life, constantly bragging and teasing girls and boys, and Tracy knew she was a _great_ kisser. Even Mason had said so. (Alicia would _love_  to forget the night she made out with Mason because he wanted to see if he was gay or not. Turns out he’s very gay. Which is a shame, because he’s a wonderful kisser.)

Then Tracy had explained that she had a date with Paige when she comes back from her band camp in two weeks and could Alicia  _please_  take pity on her - Paige has made out with _Derek Hale_ before. Alicia had caved when Tracy promised to be a fast learner and they wouldn’t do anything Alicia was uncomfortable with.

She’d agreed, but she hadn’t realized how much _torture_  this would be. Wanting to run her fingers all over Tracy, drag her tongue over her soft skin, and dig her nails into Tracy’s arching back.

She’d masturbated every night since they had their first session six days ago. Alicia couldn’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to make Tracy roll her hips, how she’d grip Alicia as she lost control, and the whimpers she might make. Alicia’s mind flashes with images of Tracy pushing her down on the bed, and she has to pull away from their kiss.

“How, um, how was that? Am I getting better?” Tracy asks. Her chest rises and falls hard, and Alicia can’t help but peek at her collarbone and the deep V of Tracy’s shirt. This is going to kill her.

“Yeah, yeah,” Alicia says, unsure how she’s going to handle seeing Tracy make out with Paige at lunch.

They hadn’t known each other very well before this started. But Alicia had told Tracy that before they just started making out, they should hang out a couple times. Kissing comes more naturally when you’re comfortable with the person. Their hangouts had consisted of movie nights, grabbing dinner at the local greasy diner, driving around aimlessly for a few hours, sneaking out of the house to walk around a park talking at one in the morning, and a pillow fight in their bras. It seems almost cliched now, but it’d taken the end of the first night to know that she felt something for Tracy.

She doesn’t _like_  like her. No, Alicia doesn’t do crushes or relationships. It’s a well-known fact around the school. In fact, Alicia was very firm on never repeating _anything_  with the same person. Making out with Tracy for a second night already breaks that rule.

But Tracy hadn’t been nervous last time. No, she’d been comfortable, and she’d told Alicia that she trusted her.

No one’s trusted Alicia before. She’s the girl that goes out of her way to be bitchy. She figures if she disappoints and upsets everyone right off the bat, then they won’t have any expectations of her. It’s _perfect._  Everyone leaves her alone and she likes it that way. Prefers it that way.

“Do you have any tips?” Tracy asks, sounding uncertain.

“Let’s try something different. Kiss me fast and hard. Like you can’t get enough of me,” Alicia tells her. _Because I can’t get enough of you._

Tracy looks surprised, but then she’s pushing Alicia down on the bed. Alicia loses her breath. Tracy straddles her and smiles. “Something like this?”

Then Tracy’s lips come crashing down on hers. Alicia feels her entire body burn. She wants to touch her everywhere, wants to tear the clothes off, and wants to show Tracy how damn good it could be. But Tracy is devouring her, making her body go limp, and Alicia finds herself relaxing instead of tensing up.

Tracy drags a hand up Alicia’s side, causing her to moan, and Tracy pauses to grin down at her. “That sounds good. That sounds  _really_  good.”

“Yeah,” is the only thing Alicia can manage to say.

Tracy presses her lips against Alicia’s again. She rocks her hips on her, and Alicia wonders if she knows what she’s doing. Tracy moves her lips from Alicia’s, pressing them gently down her neck to her collarbone.

Alicia lets out a small gasp. She closes her eyes tightly, wondering how she’s supposed to let Tracy go back to Paige after this. She puts her hands on Tracy’s shoulders and pulls her back up.

“Sorry, I got carried away,” Tracy murmurs.

“This is a kissing lesson,” Alicia reminds her, no matter how much it pains her to do so.

“I know, but what if I’m bad at body kisses?” Tracy asks. “Could I practice those too?”

Alicia thinks Tracy might want to kill her. This was a ruse to find her weaknesses and kill her. But there she goes, giving Tracy the smallest nods, and arching her back up when Tracy’s lips brush against her stomach. Alicia hadn’t even notice Tracy push her shirt up, but _boy,_  is she ever glad she had.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

 

“So Paige comes back on Thursday,” Tracy tells Alicia an hour later. Somehow, they’d managed to keep all their clothes on. They hadn’t even had sex, even though Alicia’s body is burning with a desperate need. She fixes her shirt, twisting it back into place, and doesn’t look at Tracy on the other side of the bed. Alicia had practice her kissing on Tracy’s body too - explaining that she should know what it feels like in case she doesn’t like it and Paige wants to leave a hickey on her.

“Okay,” Alicia answers, her tone void of emotion. She looks down at her nails. Fuck, she’d broken one when she’d curled her hands into fists in the sheets.

“Which means we only have Tuesday or Wednesday for my last session,” Tracy continues.

Alicia stands up now, even though her body trembles. She glances at Tracy, hoping her face doesn’t give her away. Voice tight, she says, “Okay. I have to cover for my brother at the bakery on Tuesday. It’ll have to be Wednesday.”

Tracy nods. “Wednesday works for me. Do you want to do anything?”

“Uh, kiss?” Alicia asks, confused.

“I meant before this stuff! Like grab dinner after school or something?” Tracy says, waving her hands around in a vague motion.

“That sounds more like a date than a kissing lesson,” Alicia tells her. She shakes her head. “We’ll just meet here and pick up where we left off.”

“Oh,” Tracy says, shoulders dropping. “Okay. Yeah. Sounds good.”

Alicia grabs her lipstick from her dresser and walks over to her mirror. She can’t look at Tracy right now. The idea of losing her now _sucks._  “So what are you doing when Paige comes back? When’s your first date?”

“It’s Friday night,” Tracy tells her. “We’re going to that bakery you introduced me to, and then she invited me back to her place. She’s going to cook dinner.”

Alicia pauses in the middle of retouching her lipstick. She turns and asks, “You’re taking her to _Mama’s Bakery?_  That’s…”

“That’s okay, right?” Tracy asks, sounding so concerned.

“That’s great,” Alicia finishes. She turns back to her mirror. What would Tracy have said if she’d said what she’d been thinking? _That’s our place._  Tracy didn’t sign up for the school’s badass, mysterious, slutty loner to get sentimental on her. No. Tracy signed up for a kissing teacher.

“I should head out. But I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch? We’re still on for that study date?” Tracy asks.

“Of course,” Alicia replies. She doesn’t watch Tracy leave. Instead, she finishes her lipstick and curls up on her bed.

This week is going to _suck._

Unlike the way Tracy had sucked on her bottom lip earlier. Alicia runs her thumb across it. It’s still a little swollen.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

 

Alicia’s panting by the time she pulls away from Tracy and whispers, “You’re done.”

“I’m done?” Tracy asks, her chest rising and falling just as hard as last week. “What do you, uh, mean?”

“Lesson is over,” Alicia tells her. She pushes Tracy off her and sits up. Tracy looks confused, and frankly, a little hurt. Alicia can’t let herself care. “You’re officially an awesome kisser, Tracy Stewart. You can kiss Paige without _any_  worries about being incompetent.”

“Oh, I…but usually we kiss for at least an hour?” Tracy asks.

Their first session had ended after an hour and a half, and their second had been two hours long. Alicia glances at the clock. It’s been  _twenty_  minutes this time. She shakes her head.

“Nope. You don’t need anymore time. You are a kissing expert,” she tells her. Alicia stands up and brushes her shirt down. “Kiss Paige with confidence and she’ll never want to kiss another person.”

“Is that how you feel?” Tracy asks, sounding hopeful. Which makes no sense. Alicia’s mind must be playing tricks on her.

She scoffs. “I don’t do relationships, Tracy. I don’t even do emotions. I don’t have friends, and I like it that way. Don’t worry, I don’t have any ideas that we’re actually friends. You paid me to teach you how to kiss, and I did. You take those pretty lips and put them on someone who cares.”

Alicia doesn’t know where the words come from, but she knows she has to say them. Tracy deserves better than her anyway. She deserves Paige - a woman who has the highest standards for herself, who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to get it. Paige, who would never agree to an arrangement like this. Paige, who studied and worked hard and had incredible musical talent. Alicia, the school slut who everyone kind of hated, doesn’t deserve someone as amazing as Tracy.

“Wow, okay.” Tracy stands up and grabs her sweater. “Sorry. You did tell me not to get attached to you. I guess I just thought maybe we could be friends or something…but, you’re right. Why would you want to be friends with someone who paid you to teach them how to kiss? God, that is so _lame._  I…here’s the rest of what I owe you, plus some more for the dat–hangouts we had before the lessons. Thanks, Alicia.”

She turns now, staring down at the envelope that Tracy tossed on the bed. Fuck, she doesn’t want her goddamn money. She doesn’t. But Tracy’s already gone, and Alicia’s left staring at it. She’ll have to figure out how to get it back into Tracy’s locker or something. Tracy wouldn’t get all of it back, but that’s mostly because Alicia used it to buy Tracy a gift. A gift that she also needed to get into her locker without her knowing.

Fuck, fuck, _fuck._  This is so messed up.

Alicia peeks into the envelope. She pulls it out and her lips part. Tracy only owed her the last hundred and fifty. There’s a full three hundred in here. She closes her eyes. Tracy must have really liked making out with her then.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

 

Alicia is at her locker across the hall from Tracy’s, when she sees Tracy walking down the hall. She’s nodding along with whatever the hell Mason is talking to her about. Tracy and Paige are _holding hands._  Alicia wonders how Paige would feel if she knew that Tracy had clawed Alicia’s back last week. Clawed hard enough while they grinded on her bed that she left marks. Marks that Violet pointed out when they were changing in gym class and Alicia just smirked and said it was her latest conquest. Tracy had turned her back to them.

“Alicia,” Mason says, frowning. Alicia’s eyes snap back to him. “Fuck, ever since you started hanging out with Tracy Stewart you’ve been really out of it. It’s like you have a crush or something, with that heart-eyed loo- _ook, oh my god!_  You have a crush!”

Alicia punches him in the shoulder. “Shut up. She went out with Paige on a date last Friday. We’re not a thing. I just…”

“Whoa, what? But you two were spending all that time together,” Mason says. “I thought it was because you pitied her or something but–”

“Tracy doesn’t need to be pitied,” Alicia hisses.

“No, she doesn’t. But _you_  said she was to be pitied two years ago,” Mason points out.

“Don’t remind me,” Alicia mutters. She freezes when she sees the white envelope fall out of Tracy’s locker.

Paige bends down to pick it up, clearly asking what it is. Alicia grips Mason’s wrist for support. Tracy takes it from Paige, frowning at it as though she didn’t know exactly what it was. She shrugs, says something, and puts it on the top shelf of her locker.

Alicia lets out a small breath.

“What was that?” Mason whispers.

She doesn’t respond when she sees Tracy find the little box on the top shelf. She pulls it down, and glances at Alicia before opening it. A sad smile crosses her face. Alicia wants to go and explain that it was supposed to make her laugh. It was supposed to make her happy. Not sad.

Paige says something to her, and Tracy shakes her head. She puts the box back into her locker and shuts the door. They continue walking down the hall and Tracy doesn’t look back.

“What the hell is going on?” Mason demands.

“Shut up,” Alicia hisses. She lets go of Mason’s wrist and rests her head on her textbooks inside her locker. She’s trying to collect her emotions. She can’t let anyone see how much that broke her heart.

“Liss, you can tell me what’s going on. You can tell me anything,” Mason tells her, but his voice is calm and quiet.

“I know,” Alicia tells him. She leans back to look at him. “Want to skip gym and I’ll tell you the whole story?”

“Yeah,” Mason says.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

 

When she finishes the story, they’re alone in the cafeteria, and Mason looks baffled. She shrugs and says, “I kind of thought that maybe she’d see the stupid charm bracelet from the cereal box and…I don’t know. Realize that  _we’re_  supposed to be together or something stupid.”

Mason whistles. “Man, Alicia, when you do secrets, you do _big_  secrets. Jesus shit. I was wondering why you hadn’t slept with Tracy yet. Now I know.”

“Well, I–” Alicia starts, and then shrugs. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Mas.”

“It sounds like it. It’s a good thing you’ve got me for a best friend, eh?” Mason says. “I’ll see what I can learn about Paige and Tracy for you. If you want, that is?”

Alicia doesn’t respond. She hears the doors open and a familiar laugh. Tracy’s pushing the cafeteria door open with her back, waving at someone down the hall. It sounds like she’s saying goodbye.

When Tracy spins around into the room and sees Alicia, she freezes.

“Hi,” Alicia finds herself saying.

“Hi,” Tracy echoes, looking unsure what to do.

“I’m going to go talk up Linda, the lunch lady,” Mason says. He grabs his tray and walks into the other separate room where they pick up lunch.

Tracy watches Mason go before she moves to take his place at the table. She plays with her hands, twiddling her thumbs. “So. Mason knows?”

“Well–”

“It’s okay,” Tracy interrupts. “I don’t mind that he knows. But will he tell anyone?”

“No,” Alicia promises. “He’s my best friend. He won’t breathe a word. I just…I had some stuff to figure out and I needed advice.”

“Advice about what?” Tracy asks.

Alicia doesn’t know how to answer that. She presses her lips together, trying to come up with a reasonable answer that doesn’t involve her feelings for Tracy, and thinks of nothing.

Tracy nods. “Yeah, this conversation is going places. Thanks for returning the money, although, I don’t know why you did. It’s yours.”

“I didn’t want to feel like a cheap hooker,” Alicia explains. Tracy pauses at that admission and then her eyes grow wide with worry.

“I never thought of you as a cheap hooker, Alicia. I’m so sorry. I just…I didn’t think of it like that. I just needed help and I wanted to make sure you also got something out of it. When we discussed the terms and–”

“I know,” Alicia interrupts. She puts her hand on Tracy’s to stop them from moving even more. “I agreed upon the terms and conditions. I was there. But when I got that envelope…it felt dirty. I didn’t want it, okay?”

“But…” Tracy frowns at her before she asks, “Then what did _you_  get out of it? Because now it feels like I used you.”

“I got more than you think,” Alicia says, nodding. “Don’t worry about that. I’m sorry that this became more complicated than I thought it would.”

“Wait, how is it complicated? Because I wanted to remain friends and you didn’t?” Tracy asks.

“Because I wanted to be _more_  than friends,” Alicia tells her. She takes her hands off Tracy’s and then stands up. “I’m sorry, Tracy. You’re a really great person and I…I didn’t mean to make this such a mess. It was nice getting to know you. I hope you have a lot of fun with Paige. She seems to be really into you.”

Alicia’s almost at the cafeteria doors to join Mason with the lunch lady when she hears Tracy stand up and say, “She broke it off with me yesterday.”

Alicia turns and says, “That can’t be true. You guys were holding hands just today.”

“Yeah, well, I begged her to pretend to see me for a few weeks before we break it off publicly because I didn’t want you to think that I had failed your great lessons,” Tracy tells her. She rubs the back of her neck. “See, Paige came back and quickly figured out that there was someone else I was interested in. She’s been really great about it. And I told her the truth.”

“What’s that?” Alicia asks.

“That I paid this girl to teach me how to kiss, not expecting that she’s a total softie when it comes to the movie _Inside Out_  and that she makes me laugh harder than anyone else. That we were supposed to keep things professional and educational and I went and fell for her anyway. That I was too embarrassed when she kicked me early out of our last kissing lesson to tell her that I don’t want to kiss anyone else but her.”

“Wow, that’s a good speech. Did you practice that in the mirror?” Alicia asks, but the grin is growing on her face. 

“God, you _are_  a bitch,” Tracy says, but she’s laughing as she walks towards Alicia. They meet in the middle. “Paige was right to worry about you.”

“Was she now?”

“Yeah. Told me that you’re the kind of girl who plays tough but protects those she cares about. She told me about the time that Matt called Mason a gay slur and you beat the shit out of him. You were suspended for six days, huh?” Tracy asks, her voice soft.

“Yeah. It was actually four, and he went down after the first punch.”

“Mmm, so I’m going to be dating a total badass.”

Alicia laughs now. She wraps her arms around Tracy’s waist and pulls her close. “Yeah? You wanna date me?”

“I was thinking about it,” Tracy says. “Or maybe I could talk you into some more kissing lessons. I think you were wrong. I think I’m _terrible_  at it.”

“I can help you with that,” Alicia murmurs. Her lips meet Tracy’s and this time, it’s with no fear of falling. She’s already fallen.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

**Author's Note:**

> come cry with me [here.](http://www.foxerica.tumblr.com)


End file.
